25 Things (FaceBook)

I am following the lead of my friend Shane in posting my FaceBook 25 to my blog versus on FB. In part, the Twitter/blog audience is somewhat more limited. In part, I always try to avoid participating in anything resembling a chain letter, in this case, requiring me to tag 25 others. I hate to be intrusive in that way. So, read if you like and learn a little more about moi.

1. The one article of clothing people compliment me on regularly, as recently as this week, is a sport coat I bought at JC Penny for $90 almost 23 years ago. I appreciate the comments, but it still makes me laugh a little inside, which is why I’ll never get rid of it and will continue to break it out once in a while.

2. As a teenager, I taught myself how to unlock handcuffs with half a paperclip in 20 seconds without looking. (Dad, a cop, used to leave them on his desk when he napped.) In college, I’d sometimes tape a paperclip to the inside of my belt, just for the opportunity to be a smart ass one day. Never happened.

3. For many years, I thought I had pretty much exhausted all functional memory of my five years of German studies. Then, in the last couple of years, it occurred to me that this whole time, as I walk or drive along with current, favorite tunes spinning in my head, I am singing them, silently, auf Deutsch.

4. Least favorite word: beverage. Most grating, ubiquitous misuse of a word: utilize. Ack!

5. When I have to speak publicly on an area of expertise, I’m only nervous for the first 15 seconds. Otherwise, I’m a bowl of lime Jell-o the whole way through.

6. My clothes hang in order, first by style (business, casual), then by color. When they’re occasionally out of order, I just don’t feel “right” until I fix them.

7. I like to drive very fast. It troubles me that not everyone feels the same.

8. Living in Kansas, I tornado-proofed my irreplaceable possessions by buying a DVD burner, high-speed scanner and shredder, and renting a safe deposit box. After a few close calls, I’d say this is one of the best decisions I’ve made here.

9. I love buffets. And my dessert … third or fourth (usually fourth) trip … is a full plate of mashed potatoes. That’s how I roll.

10. I really want to try out for the U.S. Professional Poolplayers Association, but I hate slop and think 9 Ball is lame. Most shots I can make in my sleep are considered “trick shots” by others. And my game jumps up three levels when I play strangers. I love being a nobody, taking down a local big dog in front of his friends and then walking away.

11. As a germophobe, I think (insert any brand name) Disinfecting Wipes and Purell are two of the best inventions ever.

12. A dream trip is spending three weeks wandering D.C.’s monuments and museums, then heading to Gettysburg with a dozen or so friends, renting a tour guide and some horses, and camping/riding around to all the key places on the battlefield for a few days. Yes, I’m a military history geek.

13. I’ve had at least half a dozen encounters with ghosts/spirits, most of which were also witnessed by friends.

14. Sometimes I dream in Japanese. Though I’ve never studied the language, I understand every word. These dreams actually take place in Japan. I've not been there yet.

15. I have this anti-establishment streak that rears its head in odd little ways. Example: Sometimes, I just skip the Super Bowl and the commercials if I don’t care about the teams and have been social the other 31 days of the year. Example: I went to Hodak’s in STL, famous for their chicken (like Straub’s in KC), and ordered a burger because I felt like it. Insignificant, yet somehow rewarding.

16. Once while staying at the Gramercy Park Hotel in NYC for training, I received an unexpected, mildly grumpy wake-up call from Itzhak Perlman instructing me to send his wife Toby downstairs for breakfast. “Who is this?” “Itzhak.” “Itzhak Perlman??” “Of course.” “Right away!” Quite amusing on many levels once the a.m. grogginess subsided. Also rode the elevator with Bruce Campbell and talked to Paul Oakenfold on the street outside of Pravda for 20 minutes.

17. Same trip: Met up with an old friend who gave me a private midnight tour of NBC Studios. Sat in Conan’s chair, on Max’s stool, in Rosie’s chair, visited the Dateline set (which we weren’t supposed to do … only Brokaw and presumably the cleaning crew were allowed inside in those days … cameras were operated remotely from a booth in the corner), and toured the SNL set while the crew busily assembled scenery for the next show. Note: Conan’s desk is not deeper than the length of my forearm. You’ll never see him with his arm extended forward on the desk, lest his hand fall over the edge at the wrist.

18. Proximity to those I love has always overridden more lucrative opportunities in strange, new cities.

19. I cried publicly once, at 10 p.m. on November 4th, in front of all my guests. I didn’t care, and I wasn’t alone. Incredible evening.

20. I am wildly sarcastic in most environments. I admire sarcasm in others and am amused by those who just don’t quite get it.

21. In my never-the-same-way-twice method of making red sauce, I once concocted a near-perfect Domino’s knock off, so said those gathered for that imperfect meal. Happily, I’ve not repeated that mistake.

22. Favorite bumper sticker: Living life between the red lights.

23. As of eight years ago, I had penned 6,000 pages of journal entries. I hope they entertain someone when I’m no longer around to care. And you wonder how I came up with the handle “wrytir”?

24. While I don’t regret a bit about how my life has turned out so far, on rare occasions, I wonder how it would have evolved had I earned my architecture degree from the University of Illinois (for free) or M.I.T.

25. My A/R nature compels me to organize the previous 24 by category, but I am resisting with all my will.